Hotel Realizations
by vamphony
Summary: "Because when people see good, they expect good... and I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations." Tonight Elena makes a choice. 3x19 remake. No Jeremy interruptions.
1. Chapter 1

The bathroom door opened and closed with a small creak from the wood. The noise awakened Elena and she fought the urge to jump up from the bed... living in constant fear around super naturals took a toll on her mental stability when it came to the smallest sound at night but this time, something in her said to stay quiet and lay still. So, she kept her eyes closed as a pair of feet walked across the floor. She silently wondered if it was Jeremy but quickly hushed the notion when his soft breaths filled the air. He was sound asleep in the bed next to hers. And, the side of her bed was empty. She could feel it. So, it was Damon roaming around. He moved carefully and quietly but his footsteps still made noise in her human ears. She heard a glass bottle being sat on the table by the window, the same one only a few feet away from the bed she shared with her vampire companion, and the chair being pulled out as he sat down in it.

She took the chance and opened her eyes, making as little movement as possible as her body fought the urge to move around on the bed, giving her away to the dark-haired vampire sitting only feet away from her.

She watched his chest rise and fall with every intake of oxygen, even though he didn't need it. His bare muscles moved from every breath, the moonlight from the window shining down on his pale skin. How was it possible or even fair that he could look that beautiful, that _devastating?_ There wasn't a question in her heart that Damon could be the biggest heartbreak and pain ridden ride of her life, but in the same thought knew he would do anything to protect her. But, it wasn't far-fetched to say Damon hadn't left a trail of broken hearts and wet tears in his years of living as the undead.

He leaned over, peeking out of the window, snapping her from her thoughts, no doubt watching for Kol. The Original would try to find them, they all knew it, for she had never known a single vampire that simply gave up on what they wanted, especially a Mikealson. Damon wouldn't either and she feared that if him and the Original came face to face again, Kol would kill Damon. And, she couldn't have that. She didn't even want to amuse the dark thoughts that taunted her if Damon died and she refused to let them infect her brain once again like they did hours before she slept. Surely, he could hear her beating madly while her gaze stalked him in his dark corner of the room. She was surprised it hadn't give her away yet, unless he wasn't listening for it.

Damon fixed the collar of his shirt, still looking at the window before turning to the plastic cup next to the Bourbon. His hand curled around the small cup and stared at it as if he was contemplating on whether or not he should drink it.

She had seen him drink many times over the years they've known each other and she was shocked to see he didn't just drink straight from the bottle as he usually did. She desperately wished she could read his mind and know what he was thinking and maybe she could even decipher her own thoughts if she knew his. The hard realization that this entire trip to her was an experiment to test her will and desires, made her guilt rise to an all knew high. Damon didn't deserve these cruel mind games she played with him and neither did Stefan. But, she didn't have a clear choice and she _hated_ it. She promised herself that she wouldn't let a man or boy stop her world from spinning and stop her life from moving on but the moment her life coincided with the Salvatore brothers, she unknowingly broke that promise months ago. Not only had _one_ man stole her heart and slowed her world but _another_ got his dark hand wrapped around it and _stopped_ her world completely with only a few lingering stares and sexual innuendoes.

His brought the plastic cup to his lips and tossed it back like a short as the manufactured fluorescent bulbs shined light on his flesh, drawing her eyes over his upper body. There he was being devastatingly beautiful again and causing more confusion... and the worst part was he didn't even know it.

Elena's eyes followed down his skin, over his bellybutton and over the contours of his abs. She memorized each line of muscle, vein and smooth line of his upper body as if she hadn't already in the hundreds of times he walked around without his shirt. But, this time, she didn't have to rush to look away to give him the wrong signal, a signal she wasn't even sure she _could_ give him. His dark eyebrows were twisted with worry, the features of his face making him look like a dark savior. _Her_ dark savior. She felt the description fit him well, rethinking over the months he had saved her not only from other creatures but from herself, especially when she spent so many nights crying in his arms over Stefan or when she tried to give herself over to Klaus. He was always there, even when she didn't want him to be, saving her from her own actions and thoughts, never asking for anything in return. Even though there wasn't a single moment she had spent with the blue-eyed man that she didn't fear for her life, but always felt a sense of trust through every doubt and sliver of terror. And, even when she hated him, the trust had always been there in her life with every moment they spent together.

The next moment, she looked back up to his face and his eyes were on her. Her breath caught in her throat at his gaze. How long had he been staring at her and she didn't notice?

His eyes told her he had been trying to resist the urge to look over at her but too desperate _not_ too. She could tell it came as a surprise to him that she was staring right back. But his gaze didn't stop her from trying to close her eyes and pretend she was asleep. Of course, it was pointless. He had saw her and the way she was moving gave off everything he already knew. And, she didn't doubt he could hear her heart know with the way it was beating furiously under his blue orbs. It would be impossible to miss, especially with his sensitive ears.

What harm could come with letting him know she was awake? Even though he knew. At least it would show him she wasn't trying to run _every_ chance she got. It would show him that she wasn't scared to tell how she needed to look at him, just as he did. But, she didn't want to say or give off the wrong thing that she has done in the past. And, it could very well happen with the way she was confused between brothers. One moment she wanted Damon and felt an overwhelming sense of warmth and... _love_ for him? And, the next, she wanted Stefan and the things he gave her and what he made her feel. It wasn't only that he was the _safe_ choice or the _right_ choice but, he was there before Damon was and he made her fall in love, a love she had never experienced before and then Damon came, shifting every notion and thought she had about Stefan and his love. To say it was confusion was an understatement, especially when it had been happening for months long before Stefan ran off with Klaus. It just wasn't as strong then. Whatever it was; attraction, lust or love had only grown and became something bigger that hazed every thought and action when around him.

Damon kept his eyes on her, listening to her heartbeat rise and fall with every breath. After a moment, she looked up and him again, finding that once in the years her and Damon spent with one another, she couldn't read his expression. Either he wasn't trying or he was damn good at hiding what he was feeling at the moment.

The longer he stared at her, the weaker his resolve and pride screaming _not_ to go over there got. She looked beautiful, lonely and that she wanted him to come over.

He questioned on whether he could keep his hands to himself for the night and not influence or delay her decision in any way because she needed to make it. She couldn't continue to lead him and his brother on, even if it wasn't intentional. She talked like the dew on spring leaves and smile as if just that look could heal, but she never came to him. He wants to run toward her, yet she stays away. He wants to be strong and nonchalant but he cannot. He feels drawn in and that makes him want to pull back. His world without her is colder, but he was accustomed to it. He just wished she would just come to him and choose him, even if it was only once.

The car ride had been enough tension and silence to fuel him for a lifetime. The only time they spoke was when Jeremy asked to stop for a restroom break. No other words had been shared between the dark haired couple, as if they were scared to speak. She has things to think about, decisions to make and choices that need to be expressed. She definitely _didn't_ need for him to make it any harder on her by coming over to the bed and letting his emotions take control of his body. But, right now, he didn't seem to care what was best. Right now, he wanted to be with her, in these small moments of bliss that he rarely experienced and right now, he could give a damn less about how wrong it was. He wanted to be selfish with her, even if it would be the last time before she waltzes back into his baby brother's arms.

With a low sigh, he set the empty plastic cup down on the table and stood on his feet. The movement caused her heart to skip a beat, a sound Damon no doubt heard, and rapidly started to pick up as he moved closer. She didn't move, didn't protest or tell him to stop like her past self would have and she didn't break their eye contact. She didn't have it in her to turn away from the selfish thoughts and heart racing emotions he made her feel with one glance of his blue eyes. And, this time, she didn't want too.

He silently slid on the bed, and noticed that she didn't move an inch from her original position. Almost as though she wanted to be close as possible. He didn't want to dwell on what _that_ implied. Besides, he was more distracted with the angelic brunette laying only inches away from him.

Her legs were stuffed under the covers and he felt them move nervously when he laid his head down on the pillow next to hers. And, even though the blanket separating most of her body, she felt her leg brush up against his when she slightly moved. He felt disappointed that he couldn't smell the familiar vanilla perfume she always wore but sighed to himself happily when he could small her shampoo from her earlier shower, filling the air and stained to the pillow her head rested on. The scent comforted like a silent promise. As more seconds passed, he continued looking at her, waiting for her to speak but knew it would have to be him to start the conversation. It was clear she had been waiting for _him_ to speak. She didn't trust herself enough to start talking without once again saying the wrong thing and end this perfect, quiet moment between them. And, she hated to admit she had been watching him all day, almost waiting for him to screw up, even when there was nothing that he could _possibly_ mess up while they were driving. But, she never knew with Damon and the realization terrified her further. There was a hidden meaning behind everything she said to him lately and she knew he could tell. She was trying to distance herself not only physically but mentally as well, just looking at him as trusting and _not_ attractive as possible. But, it was all in vain. The selfish thoughts telling her to take what she wanted only grew louder and the gentle voice telling her to think it through grew quieter.

When it became clear to her that he wouldn't be the first one to speak, she had to push herself to say the most reoccurring thought in her mind for hours.

"You never told me about that... what you did for Rose."

He grimaced slightly from the statement, the curves of his lips twitching when she saw an even _softer_ side of him. He didn't want to begin on how much it not only hurt his pride but angered his demon that he showed his 'weak' side once more, his human side. A side he thought was long gone until a smiling, pure hearted brunette came bouncing along, wrecking everything he had previously thought about himself and love.

"It wasn't about you." he stated turning his head away from her, not as an insult... but to let her know not everything he did was about her. And, they were the truth. Sometimes, he just wanted to do good not only for that other person but for _himself._ It kept more ties with his humanity, and some days he needed more than a few _encouraging_ words from Elena Gilbert to stay sane. There were times he needed to help other people for himself; he hadn't been doing it as much as used to when he first turned or that he should have been doing but she brought that side back. A side that he was surprised he wanted to stay.

And, what he did for Rose, was one of those times he needed that side but hated what he had to do in order relieve her pain. She had been a subject he never wanted to discuss and they had both accepted that a while ago. It wasn't wise to push Damon into talking, especially about something so sensitive. He didn't know what it is was. Perhaps her death was set to close to home since he had encountered the deadly werewolf bite and dodged death itself at the last minute. Now he had known what she felt and why she had been crying in his arms about the pain. He hadn't been in love with the vampire, but he had loved her. He knew it and Elena did too. He had cared for her and when she died in his arms, by _his_ hands, changed him. The dream had been presented to her as a final gift; an action to soothe her in her last moments. He only wished he could see her one last time, see her smile and say goodbye. Neither of them got the chance in the small frame of time where they had bonded and if he gave any indication that he was about to end her life, it would only cause alarm so he had to act like everything was okay for the moment. He would be lying if he said he didn't think about her often. She had grown on him and she always came across his mind in the quiet times he could be vulnerable.

Whatever it is was, was completely off limits until today when the subject had been brought back up. He wished it hadn't because Elena shouldn't need to hear every detail of the good things he's done. She should just believe he had good from the things she not only witnessed but experienced herself and not believe every bad thing she had heard about him. But, he guessed karma was a bitch. He was paying for every wrong doing and every killer tendency in the form of this girl.

He watched from the corner of his eye, she smiled, unable to do anything more. She didn't know what else to do in the moment besides offering a sweet gesture. Damon could be confusing to say the least, especially when she thought she finally had him all figured out.

"Why don't you let people see the good in you?"

He sighed and kept his hard gaze to the ceiling. He was unable to avoid her question but didn't know the correct response. He knew he shouldn't be thinking of an answer she would be happy with but he couldn't think of one to please himself. There was too many reason to count. He hoped that if he continued glaring at the ceiling, she wouldn't be able to read his expression or his personal thoughts because she could see right through him. But, it was no use. Elena had always willed the power to see inside of him and poke around inside of his brain to the point where he questioned his sanity... and, unfortunately, she always had the firm grip on his heart with her pure hand. It infuriated him to say the least but his complaints of having no one grew smaller with every look, touch and kiss.

"Because when people see good, they expect good," he stated, pausing for a moment to turn his head back to her. "And, I don't want to have to live up to anyone's expectations."

They stared at each other for a few moments, and Elena's breath hitched in her throat from his familiar blue orbs, clouded with lust. She realized that she was waiting for something... for him to kiss her. She visibly sighed to show how frustrated she was and for a moment she didn't want to be here. It was becoming blurry once again and every though hazed from his proximity. She flipped on her back and took a deep breath in a way to clear her mind. Why did everything have to so easy but hard with him? Why couldn't she ever have a clear decision about the elder Salvatore? She dropped her hand from her face, basically letting her hand fall right next to Damon's, giving him free range to do what he wanted. She breathed silently, her heart racing when his fingers brushed across hers, making a decision for both of them. Her body froze when his warmth touched against her skin and she laid completely still, not opening up but not resisting either. She wanted to see where he would take this despite the fact she was still so confused.

His fingers slid under her palm, trying his best to wrap his hand around the dead weight of her hand. She wasn't responding and that was not about to stop him, especially since she made no move to pull away or resist his touch. She was seeing what he would do next. It only made him more desperate to get a reaction out of her. She had to do _something._ Yell at him, kiss him, _slap_ him for all he cared. He just needed to know how she was feeling.

She breathed lightly, her breath finally starting to even out, her heart thumping in her chest wildly. She looked over at him as she fought the urges to roll over and give into what she wanted. But, instead, she quickly jumped form the bed, wrapping the lack sweater tight around her frame before disappearing out the door.

It only took a split second for him to go after her. He slipped out of the door and stood behind her. She was only feet from him, leaning against the vending machine to keep her balance. Her back was to him, but he could still read her body movements to know that she wanted this, wanted _him_ despite the voice inside her head telling her not too. The acceleration of her heart-rate has nothing to do with fear and everything to do with what her body really wants. She looked away as if the outside world holds her attention, but after all this time he reads her like a book, even in her state of confusion and her breathing rate was duly noted.

There was no smile or smirk on his lips that he would usually have, only the hot intensity of his gaze that they both know is the start of the inferno to come.

Damon took a step closer, even though he didn't need too. And, Elena knew he was there. She had expected him to follow her, she just didn't know if that was what she wanted. She just needed to get away from the thoughts that was plaguing her mind. His scent only brought more feelings to the surface and his touch only sent a frenzy of delicious shocks down her spine. And, why couldn't he learn to button up a damn shirt?

"Don't." she begged, not sure what she was telling him. She didn't know whether she was telling him to go away or never leave.

His eyes continued to bore into the back of her head and the window softly blew, sending small strands of her hair lightly flying with the air and causing goosebumps over her skin.

"Why not?" he asked in a whisper, knowing she could hear him. He knew she didn't love him, but he couldn't resist.

The brunette sighed, hating the two words that sent hundreds of questions in her mind. Why was she trying so hard to push him away, when she knew she wouldn't hesitate to kiss Stefan? Why was she avoiding every chance she got with Damon to hide behind a silly notion of confusion? Why couldn't... why _wouldn't_ she let Damon have the chance to win her heart just as his brother had? He had gotten under her skin from day one, and he wasn't going anywhere anytime soon, so why was she so scared? Was it because a small part still loved Stefan? She didn't have answer to any of them and she grew more frustrated as more began to taunt her.

"Elena." he breathed out, making her soft even more.

She knew the fear would always be there. It always has been. But, the question she really needed to ask herself was will that fear cost her the man that had always protected, love and cared for her through every indecision, stupid argument and supernatural killer on the lookout for her? Of course, Damon had faults, _huge_ ones that often-caused drama and fights... but she refused to look over his growth and the things he has done for her that he didn't _have_ to do. If it wasn't for him, she would be dead. She knew that for a fact. Damon helped Rose, defended her against originals, brought her here to find and see her brother and kept her safe. And those were only the icing on the cake. It would take days to tell all the wonderful and compassionate things Damon had done, not to mention how many times he had thrown himself in front of her, _literally,_ so she would be alive. And, she couldn't think of any more excuses to ignore him or her feelings.

Damon watched her and listened carefully to the erratic pounding of Elena's heart. His first thought was she was about to run again from her silence and when she straightened her back. He braced himself, ready to race after her when she spun around and ran into his arms. The next thing he knew, she had slammed her lips to his and nearly knocked all wind from his lungs that he didn't need. Their lips pressed together, over and over. His hands tightened, gripping her waist roughly, as her fingers tangled in his hair. She slid her hand down his face, cupping his face with her soft palms. It was magic, the way her lips connected with his. Her mouth was so warm, the caress of her lips softer than he could have imagined and he opened his mouth with a low moan. He couldn't stop, nor did he want too. And, by the way she gripping his shirt, she didn't want too either. Th contrast of her soft touches to her hard grip on his shirt, reminded him just how strong she was. She could handle it. She wasn't his brother's girl for the moment, that girl vanished the moment she pressed her lips to his. Sweet, innocent, _human_ Elena was gone. But, this girl, the one wrapped in his embrace was _his._ She was fierce, seductive and sexy. If he didn't know better, he would have guessed she was a vampire by the way she silently demanded to continue kissing. This Elena was rash and tough. _This_ Elena was fighting for what she wanted.

And, that was him. Even if it was just for the moment. She knew what she wanted and she was taking it.

Elena's body went rigid with lust as trembles shook her body and the euphoric warmth blossomed within her once more. He tilted her head to the side and kissed her, his lips demanding. She felt a smoldering heat deep within her as Damon's grip on her hips tightened, crushing her body to his, gentle yet firm. He slanted her head further, deepening the kiss.

His hands moved everywhere on her, which was completely fine with her considering she wouldn't stop touching him either. Nowhere was untouchable to her, and it didn't bother him one bit. His entire body was on fire, it felt like it at least, and he would simply _die_ if he let go of her. She was making the _sweetest_ sounds of pleasure he had ever heard. He backed her against the cement post, too overwhelmed by temptation to notice what he was doing. But, she didn't seem to mind or notice. She was too focused on Damon's lips as they trailed down her neck. Usually, it wasn't good to let him know how much power he truly had over her but she couldn't put on her mask of indifference, not when he kissed her and definitely not when his lips were on her throat. She was just consumed by his every action and amazed how one touch or kiss from him was enough to lose any rational thoughts.

He went lower, kissing lower over the rise of her breasts and back up when her hands curled around his face, wanting to fee his lips against hers once again.

It was all so fast, her rational side may even say _too_ fast but she couldn't care less about it. She couldn't believe she's had been denying herself from him, but every brush of his lips, every touch of his fingertips and every slip of his tongue only made her resolve weaken. He pulled back from the warmth of her hands on his face, slightly wondering if she was backing out on him now, but once he reached her eyes, he found no regret or guilt. He only found list and love clouding her dark chocolate orbs. Her lips were swollen from his assault and he couldn't help but find it an erotic sight. The wind blew once again, sending the smell of her shampoo in his face but it wasn't enough to cover the scent of her arousal.

And it seemed as though he took too long memorizing her feminine features because her rational thoughts crept back in, no doubt about to ruin everything they had just built on.

"Damon." Elena stated, bringing him back down to Earth, his prior state of bliss dying away with every second that passed. He should have known it was too good to be true. He didn't think for a moment she wasn't about open her mouth and say something stupid to ruin his slight happiness. "Wait."

He tried not to roll his eyes, but failed, pulling his hands away from her body and shaking his head at himself. He didn't bother wasting his energy to respond. It would only lead into an argument. He went to turn his back, already done with whatever she was about to throw at him when her hand clasped around his upper arm, drawing his eyes back to her.

"Damon, don't be an ass. I'm just trying to talk to you. Please be mature about this. I need to say this before it goes any further."

There she went again, her overjudge mental, _Damon-be-the-better-man_ speech he didn't doubt she already had prepared. He knew if he just shrugged off her hand and went back inside the room, it would only prove why she kept her distance and only was his _friend._ It would prove every immature, petty and irrational action he had made to push her away. It would give her more reason to go back to Stefan.

"What?" he demanded, turning back to the brunette. Elena sighed and tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, licking her swollen lips.

"I know this might not mean much now..." she started, pursing her lips deep in thought. Her eyes were cast down, staring at his chest alternating from biting down on her bottom lip and playing with the ends of her hair, obviously nervous. "Especially after everything and the pain I've caused-" she paused in the middle of her sentence, cutting herself off before she took a deep breath.

"But, you need to know. You _deserve_ to know it. And, I need to say it."

His eyebrows furrowed in question at her cryptic words and felt his patience wearing thin at every pause and intake of breath from the girl standing in front of him... but her actions told him she needed to take her time with this. That it was just too important not rush out. As his mind started to wonder about every possibility about what she was about to say next, stirred a burning sensation inside of him he thought was dead along with her recent actions.

 _Hope._

"What, Elena?"

She met his eyes once more for that night and parted her lips, speaking. "I'm in love with you."

* * *

 _So, tiny explanation. For the past 2 and a half weeks, I have had serious writer's block. I couldn't write one shots, write new chapters, hell, I couldn't even begin a new story. It was that bad. School and my family have been stressing me out so much that I can't even write and it's a little discouraging. I love writing and I always feel bored and sad when I can't so this past few weeks have been_ _hell_ _for_ _me. And, I can't even focus enough to read! I'm trying to get my groove back and not stress so much for the moment, but my brain isn't wanting to_ _cooperate_ _with me. Well, just have to see in the next few days._

 _This one shot has taken literally weeks to do when usually, I could get it out within MAYBE a few days from when I_ _began_ _to write it. So, don't think this one was easy. It wasn't trust me. Even the summary was not what I wanted_ _it_ _to be but I was happy with the way the one shot turned out, even though it took me a while to get it out._

 _Check out these amazing authors:_ **scarlett2112** , **Salvatoreboys4ever** , **deepwater1978** , **VitsAsh** , **MovingOnIsNeverEasy**. _I know they would love your support._

 _I want to give a huge thanks to my beta. Make sure you go check out her stories, "The Power Within" "Captive of Her Beauty" and her one shots post finale:_ **Salvatoreboys4ever**

 _I can't wait to hear your thoughts and_ _opinions_ _about this! Who knows,_ _maybe_ _it will_ _push_ _through my writer's block to read these reviews. Bye for now, love you all!_ _If you want a part 2, just tell me and say what you would like to see in it. I can't promise anything though. This writer's clock has been a real bitch._

 _Tumblr:_ _zaewritess_ _(If you follow me on there or message me, just make sure you say who you are so_ _I'll know)_


	2. Chapter 2

_**This is for**_ _**imly. I wasn't planning on adding any more to this one shot but oh well. Enjoy.**_

* * *

With ankles crossed and her knees leaning against the center console, she watched as Damon slid into the driver's seat, starting the engine with the turn of a key. She wanted to touch him and run her fingers through his silky raven hair. But her little brother was in the backseat and he wouldn't really _appreciate_ if she jumped on Damon, especially while he was driving.

Rubbing her hands together, she forced them into submission pushing them into her lap. Observing his movements, a sigh escapes her lips. She adored the subtle tilt of his head when he turns onto a main road. Every movement seems as though he's planned it out ahead of time. He's just that good. Feeling a chill, she rubbed her arms, continuing to watch him from her seat.

He hadn't uttered a word since the motel. He said those words back but it felt as though he was distancing himself as far as he could. When Jeremy came out minutes later, Damon faked a smile for the boy and walked back inside without another word. She didn't know what was wrong with him. It's not like had had given her a chance to speak to him. He was avoiding her every chance he got since like the plague.

She would just have to discuss it with him later when Jeremy wasn't sitting in the back able to hear _every_ word they would say.

Her head laid up against the glass of the window next to her, a grimace on her face. Just when she thought that they could be happy together and move on from everything in the past, he had to go and start acting this way. But she couldn't say she was surprised anymore. Happiness was elusive for her, it never lasted long. All she could say was that she hoped Damon believed her when she said she was completely and hopelessly in love with him.

He made her question every promise, every choice she had ever made to herself since the beginning. He made her open up when she didn't want to let herself in. He helped her to breathe when she didn't want to anymore and he helped her to see that it was okay to fall in love again and it was okay to experience something you didn't know even if it scared you and even if the future wasn't a given. Especially for her.

The future was looking up though, even if it was just for the moment. And they needed to seize it while it was still there. He was closing her out because of her past decisions, she knew. He was scared that she would go back to his brother in near time but she wouldn't. Not anymore. Hopefully, she would be able to get through to him and show him that.

As if he sensed her melancholy mood, his hand wrapped around hers, clasping it tightly in his warm palm. The action pulled her from her thoughts and she raised her head up to him, giving him a light smile as if to say she was okay. He squeezed her hand in response, returning the smile before turning his attention back to the road.

She yawned, blinking to keep her eyes open and took another glance at Damon. His eyes were firmly planted on the black cement in front of them, his face expressionless. She knew he could feel her eyes on him and he lightly started rubbing his thumb across the skin of her hand, lulling her to sleep.

* * *

"Elena,"

Her eyes fluttered open and she raised up her head from the window, looking around for the voice. When her eyes landed on Damon she made a muffled sound asking him what he wanted.

"Do you want something to eat inside? I have to get gas." Damon asked, his voice monotone.

She shook her head and straightened up in her seat. Damon wordlessly shut the door and started walking inside of the gas station when Jeremy spoke up in the back.

"Did you mean it?"

A puzzled expression crept up on her face and she turned in her seat to face the teenager in the back. "What do you mean?"

"Rose visited me when we first started driving and she told me to ask you if you really meant what you said to Damon. And, she asked if it was genuine. She said she didn't mean any disrespect but she said don't play with his heart. She didn't know if he could take any more of it nor deserved it. She wanted to know if you really made your decision." Jeremy paused, taking a breath and furrowing his eyebrows. "Did you Elena?"

She would describe her love for the Salvatore's like charging horses pulling in opposite directions. Both of them is important, each one of them a part of her soul. They always have been. She just needed to get them to charge in the same direction, to pull together and make her decision. Problem was, she never knew how.

"Yes, I meant it." Elena said, nodding her head deep in thought. "I meant every bit of what I said to him. I love him, Jer. And, I think I have for a long time..."

Jeremy nodded at her response. "Okay." He wouldn't push it further. If his sister was happy, he was happy. "Rose only asked that you two be honest with each other and that she _ships_ you two and she always has. She said she loves you and him together and she wishes you the best."

Elena smiled at Rose's words, wishing she was still there. The woman had never been around long but she had made such a big impact on her and Damon's lives. It crushed Damon when she died and he lost one of his only friends. Even she was heartbroken to hear Rose had passed.

"Well, tell her that I said thank you and that I will be truthful to Damon. She has nothing to worry about."

"And, she also said that Damon can be the best thing for you or the worst."

The statement caught Elena off guard and she raised her eyebrows, surprised to hear one of her thought's come from another's mouth.

"But, she said she thinks he _is_ the best for you. And I quote, "Stefan is good for her. He always will be but Damon surprises her, challenges her. He makes her question her life. And, It is one of the many reasons why Elena Gilbert fell in love with Damon Salvatore and why they are perfectly made for one another'"

Before she had the chance to respond, the driver's side door opened back up and Damon slid in starting the car again.

"What'd I miss?" he asked, looking at her expression.

Elena smiled, still processing the words in her brain. "Nothing. We were just talking about bed."

* * *

Once Jeremy left the car and was safely inside of his house, Damon continued driving to the Boarding House in silence.

Her nerves were frayed to the quick. In her building anxiety, she constructed elaborate rationalizations for why everything would turn out alright, but still the nagging voice in the back of her mind spoke of nothing but doom ahead for their newfound relationship that they hadn't even begun yet.

When the car came to a stop, Damon pulled the key from the ignition and stepped out of the car with her following. She hoped this wouldn't turn out into a fight like it usually did. She _hoped_ he believed her but Damon was always a barrel full of surprises.

To be expected, in typical Damon fashion, he went straight for the liquor cart and poured himself a glass of Bourbon chugging it down instantly.

"Damon," Elena sighed, tucking pieces of hair behind her ear and sitting down on the couch. "What's wrong with you? You've been acting weird since the motel Talk to me."

"It's nothing, Elena. Don't worry about it. I just need some peace and quiet." Damon snapped, pouring more liquor into his cup.

Her sigh was of a softly deflating; it was as if a tension had lifted yet left her with a melancholy instead of relief like she was hoping.

"Damon, please don't do this. Don't shut me out. If you're angry then talk to me. Telling me to go away won't do anything for you or me."

"I didn't tell you to go away, I just said I wanted quiet. But, _now_ I'm telling you to go away. We can go back to our regularly scheduled drama tomorrow. For now, I want to be alone."

" _Fine."_ She stood. "Go and have your pity party and self-loathing attitude, Damon. I just wanted you to know that I haven't changed my mind."

Elena turned her back, ready to leave and come back tomorrow and fix whatever he was abutting to cause when he suddenly appeared in front of her, a gasp escaping her lips.

"This isn't about a _pity party_ , Elena. It's about the fact that I already know what's going to happen between..." He waved his hand between them. " _Whatever_ this is."

"Then what is it about Damon? Enlighten me."

He squinted his eyes. "I can tell you how this is gonna go, but I'm _begging_ you to prove me wrong. First, we'll flirt and get close, then the closeness will trigger a panic in you, that you won't be able to control and as per usual you'll get scared and run. Maybe back to my brother. You'll retreat. And I'll be careful not to cause damage because I have at least learnt that much. Then, when the fear of being hurt all over again has passed you'll come back to me, warm and affectionate, feeling guilty, feeling worried that you've lost me. It will look like 'fire and ice,' or 'push and pull,' but in truth it is an emotional wave that is painful and internal to me that I don't know if I'll be able to handle again. I'm honestly sick of it. Let's just hope we don't crash and burn in a ball of hell. So, throw a penny in a well, my love, and make a wish; I already did the same."

Elena opened her mouth to respond, her face full of shock but was abruptly cut off when Damon continued.

"So, if you're ready, then we can try. But, if you're not, _tell me._ At least then I'll be able to somewhat attempt to prepare for what going to come next."

The silence was a poison to them, for in that void of sound the shallowness of their conversation was laid bare. Kinetic and winnowing, hearts flutter at the oppression such a violence rings through the caverns of ears. Souls cry for help and irises sing for mercy as if such a sound could not be more brutally deafening.

Her hands raised up from her sides and curled around his neck, pulling him closer to her until she stopped when their lips were inches apart.

Damon's eyes were curious for her next move but darkened in contrast at how sexy she looked being assertive.

She licked her lips and leaned in slowly, like a tease. He had expected she was about to kiss him but growled internally when she lightly grazed over them and instead leaned in closer to his ear.

"I'm ready, Damon. For _everything."_

* * *

 ** _Huge thanks to my beta; Salvatoreboys4ever. "Bottom of the Ocean" was updated a few days ago. Bye. Love you all. Tumblr; keatien_**


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